Mark Bromwich - The Captains Blog

“After enlightenment, the laundry.”        Zen Proverb

       Welcome back everyone.  I am sitting here in my room on a Friday morning, or what I refer to as my cell, and am contemplating going back to sleep.  Friday is what we call low optempo day, which stands for “low operations tempo.”  Friday is the religious day for Muslims, kind of like our Sunday, so most of our ANA counterparts go home for a day or two, and hang out with their families.  This leaves us a day without mentoring, so it provides us time to do laundry, catch up with other work, or just do nothing.  Don’t tell my boss about that last one though, as we are not supposed to just do nothing.  He’ll say; “it’s LOW optempo day, not NO optempo day,” so we’ll keep that last little nugget to ourselves.  Over the last several days we have been working pretty hard on planning missions to thwart the efforts of the bad guys.  As I am sure you are reading in the papers, or seeing on the television news, the bad dudes feel this spring needs to be their time to make a statement.  Our plan is to simply not allow them to speak.  However planning meetings that span from one day to the next, and then start again as the sun is rising, definitely takes it toll.  It’s kind of funny to see us all running around like zombies the last few days, trying to keep up with the pace.  It is a much needed pace, however, as we cannot let the dushman, Dari for enemy, get the best of the Afghan Army and Police.

       Whew, that was awesome, just woke up from a forty-five minute nap.  It was quite nice.  Now, where were we?  Oh yeah, since we have taken over training the police, as well as the Afghan Army, we have gotten everyone together for much better coordinated efforts against the dushman.  Training the police was a mission well over due, and they certainly need the help.  The Afghan Army, on the other hand, has had the assistance of the American Army for a few years now, and I honestly think they are on the cusp of being independent.  We have made a lot of progress with them, and they have done a lot of improvement on their own as well.   So, focus on the police is happening at the right time, and the teams training them are already seeing results.  It is kind of sad, but because of the lack of training the police currently have, they have become an easy target.  However, speaking of results, they are learning.  Here’s a cool little story of two police heroes.  There were a couple of ANP, Afghan National Police, guarding a training center entrance.  Along comes what they believed to be suspicious motorcycle driver, trying to get close to the gate.  They recognized that something was odd with the particular driver, so they decided to take a defensive stance, and even chased the guy a bit, trying to figure out what the deal was.  The motorcyclist, who happened to be strapped with explosives, was bent on blowing something up.  Seeing that the cops were not going to let him make them martyrs, he immediately turned his bike around, and blew himself up to avoid capture.  Thankfully, making himself the only martyr that day.  The police dudes were given gifts from the police chief and certificates documenting their good day.   Certificates of accomplishment are huge in this country.  If you give someone a certificate for doing a good job, for them, it is better than gold.

       Ohh … Be right back, got to throw my laundry in the washer.  Doing laundry around here is quite an experience.  As the camp fills up with more and more people moving in, it is getting a little more difficult to get laundry done.  First off, we can’t start laundry until eight in the morning, this allows for people in the showers to get adequate water pressure, and avoid being scalded.  Once the morning’s eighth hour hits, it’s a free-for-all on the washers, like horses breaking out of the starting gates.  Then once you have started your laundry, you never know where it is in the process it is, so it becomes a guessing game to find it at any one point.  You see, the washers and dryers are in the restroom; hence it can be a little socially awkward to sit in there while your laundry is going through its cycles.  So you load up a washer, or dryer, and trust that the laundry will be okay while you are away.  When you think it is time to move your laundry from a washer to a dryer, which may have already been done by another anxious individual who needs the washer.  Timing becomes everything in the laundry game.  If you miss the exact moment your laundry is done in the washer, then you have to search all the dryers, trying to find out where your stuff ended up.  Once located, then in go the dryer sheets, and again out of the restroom, so you can avoid the oddity of sitting in there. If you miss the time when your dryer is done, then hopefully your laundry is sitting atop the dryer, and everything is there.  I am pretty sure this is the time where most of my missing socks wander off, I can’t prove anything yet, but I am on the case.  

       OK, laundry is started, now where were we?  If I haven’t been involved in marathon planning meeting, I have been finding myself on the road a lot.  In the last week I have driven the group commander, General Pritt and his replacement General Livingston, all over our chunk of Afghanistan.  The new General is trying to get a feel for the lay of the land, and General Pritt is saying his goodbyes.  When I haven’t been driving around VIP’s, I have found myself driving to Kabul and back, slowly but surely getting our replacements down here.  We are in the process of moving our whole group out of this country, and a new group is finding their way here.  It is called a RIP, or replacements in place.  Because we so shorthanded with the guys that have already gone home, I chip in, and lend a hand at driving or gunning back and forth to get people moved where they need to be.  Soon it will be our turn to leave this country, a measly twenty-three days to be exact.  I can’t wait, it certainly has been a long year here, and since I have been back from leave, some of the days have certainly dragged on.  I am sure it is because I know I am so close to home now.  It is cheerless to see some of my friends head home, and I will certainly miss them, but I also know, I am not too far behind.  It was someone’s brainchild to send all the Afghan Army Trainers, ETT’s, home on the last group leaving.  Whoever this person is, I am definitely not his/her biggest fan, but reluctantly it makes sense and I agree with it.  The reason is because we need to spend the most time we can with our replacements, make sure that the transfer between us and them goes as smoothly as possible.  I received my first attempt at a replacement, but the guy that was sent to replace me is not really ready to take the reins of a Corps communications section, and he certainly didn’t grasp the concept of mentoring.  So, we are currently in search of another signal mentor, hopefully we find one soon.  If anyone out there knows of anyone who can run a signal section, and mentor the ANA, please have them apply within.  We are an equal opportunity employer.

       Hold on, I’ll be right back; it’s time to go back to the laundry game, and make sure my stuff makes it into a dryer.  That, and I have to put in my three dryer sheets.  I know, three seems excessive, but if I do not put three of them in there, then all my stuff will come out of the dryer in one giant static ball.  I don’t know what it is about this place, other than the air is incredibly dry, but static electricity is a huge problem, and I hate getting shocked all the damn time.  Then I am going to run off to lunch.  By the way here’s a grilled cheese and tomato soup update.  It hasn’t happened again since that one day.  I knew it was too good to be true.  Now there’s another thing I can’t wait to leave behind.  Not getting to choose what I am going to eat, or at least having a hand in preparing it.  It is to the point where I can tell you what day it is simply by looking at what is being served at the chow hall.  That’s not good.  I can’t wait to cook something that I desire to eat, or choose off of a menu.  The one saving grace of our chow hall is that they always have a decent variety of fresh fruits and vegetables, and I do appreciate that.   That, and I certainly do not want to complain about our accommodations here in Gardez, there are units even further down range who have it a lot worse off than we do. Anyways, be right back.

       OK, lunch has been tolerated, now where were we?  Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you the best thing I have done since we last spoke.  We opened a new school a couple of days ago, in a place called Nik Nam.  It was awesome.  In addition, we also delivered a ton of new school supplies to get the school started.  The cool thing was that it was not only the US and the ANA participating with opening the school, but the ANP were also there to dedicate the school.  To include, there were some local dignitaries, and someone from the Ministry of Education.  It was a small, but pretty grand occasion.  The school only had boys attending, so far; but hopefully it will soon have girls too.  The reason for the lack of girls is that the school is located in one of the areas of Afghanistan that is not as progressive, so girls are not safe there.  This particular school sits right across the street from a police outpost, so hopefully this will change in the near future.   Other than that, I can’t tell you a whole lot about the school opening this time, because I went as security this time, so during the festivities I didn’t have much a view from my gun turret.  As you can see from the picture below, my view was definitely spectacular, but sadly I could see much else.  That’s okay though, I do not want to hog the humanitarian missions.  I want to make sure that everyone gets a chance to attend these events.  Maybe if more people got involved in being humanitarian, we haven’t to be here in the first place.  The one thing I could see from my perch atop the Humvee was the raising of the Afghan flag.  That was a neat moment.  It would be thoughtless of me if I didn’t thank everyone back home for the continued support of our humanitarian efforts here.

       Hold on, I’ll be right back; it’s time to find out if I won the laundry game.  Anytime I can get all clothes back in one bundle, static-cling free, and without socks missing.  I can declare myself the winner.   It’s nice to be able to fold the clothes in my cell, and come up with everything I started with. Just think, I only have to do my laundry, maybe, three or four more times. Now there’s a splendid thought.  OK, be right back.

       OK, laundry is fully accounted for, folded, and put away.  Let it be officially noted, I am a winner of the laundry game today.  Now where were we?   Oh yeah, I think we were just wrapping things up here.  I got everyone in the loop on the goings on around here, and what I have been up to lately, and why it as taken so long to write a new post.  Got a few people to make sure I thank before I wrap things up here.  First of all, the Kiwanis, thank you for an incredible effort, and the children here will so appreciate all you have done.  JJ and Carrie, thank you for all the stuff you sent, that was incredible.  The catalogs and such went straight into our library when it got here, and I haven’t seen them since, as they are always checked out.  The other stuff went to our MWR, Morale Welfare and Recreation group, where they were given out as prizes for our poker tournaments.  Let me tell you, people played just a bit harder to make it to the final table.  Thank You, you guys rock.  Angie and Agnieszka, thank you for your continued thoughts, and boxes full of cool stuff.  You are keeping our library, and our stomachs, full.  Soon, because our time here is so short, I will be sitting down to write the overall year in perspective.  I look forward to that endeavor.  Talk to you all soon, and I am glad we could share this day together.

Until Next Time,
Mark

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